There’s a cycle I go through where I fall into a hole. Where the proper move is to climb up but what I do is I dig a deeper hole. I dig and dig and dig, until I hit that rock. Rock bottom, that’s what people call it; and then I dig some more. So, when I realize that I need to climb up, well you can guess.

My hands would already be bloody, my arms already sore. The light at the top of a hole is a dot. It happened a lot of times, it happened so much that i know its going to happen again eventually. That even when I reach the top and climb some more so I get higher, I know eventually I’ll fall down again. It will happen forever until that dot goes out and my hands become so bloody, my arms so sore that it could not bear to climb anymore.


I never thought much about being in a broken family much before all these things had happened…

Mostly, i think because it happened when I’m at an older age; well, older than most people’s age when their parents part ways.

Anyway, this year, aside from gaining so much knowledge on my craft (medicine) rotating with my colleagues, my new found friends… i cant help but see the difference.

First of all, I dont have a home…

Today, I really wanted to go home… but where? Really, where is home? I couldn’t seem to find it.

Its a good thing i didn’t go to that house, because after what happened tonight… its worse…

What am i rambling about? I don’t know…i just want to be numb… not to feel it all…

Everytime I want to go back in, you push me out… and with every little push, i go father and farther out than when I step in.


I made this blog with the realisation that not every follower I have on my other blog would appreciate where I am right now.

My feelings, my thoughts and my plans.

I just felt like, my life has been a series of



And such…

So i made this blog, its not going to be a happy one, but maybe this will be like my journal, an outlet at times when i feel and am most alone.

Thank you, although i know no one would read this